


30 Days Of Admitting My Worst Fears

by Introverted_Survivalist



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, Every One Of These Teens Are Adorable, Fluff, Phobias
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21682870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introverted_Survivalist/pseuds/Introverted_Survivalist
Summary: "You know this is stupid, right?" Rose deadpanned, staring down at the rodent like it was some annoying fly sitting in her food."I'm not touching that… thatthing." Gar retorted, frying pan at the ready as he stood on top of the kitchen counter. "That rat is the size of Jason's head.""I heard that!"…30 chapters of phobias that the young generation of the Titans have to go through in their daily lives, because everyone's afraid of something.
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Garfield Logan & Raven & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson & Koriand'r & Garfield Logan & Raven
Comments: 27
Kudos: 149





	1. acrophobia: fear of heights

Jason peered over the edge of the tower and hummed. "I never realized how high up this floor is."

"High up?" Rachel spoke up through a mouthful of cheese popcorn, lying flat on top of the kitchen counter with Rose at her feet, who was digging through a box of cinnamon corn puffs with a spoon. "I like being high."

"But what if you fall?" Rose pointed out lazily and picked up a corn puff, examining it with her one eye squinted. "Like, you're a goner."

"If I fall, so be it." Jason said with a shrug. Rachel snickered in agreement to the dumb reply. She grabbed an apple from the bowl of fruits inches away from her and bit into it whole.

All the adults were out of the tower. Dick was out visiting an old friend, Kory said she wanted donuts, Hank and Dawn were out doing who knows what, and Donna had gone out to buy burgers and milkshakes for the kids… basically leaving all of them to scavenge for food and stuff whatever they wanted into their mouths before any of them came back.

"You think Gar's afraid of heights?" Rachel questioned as she clicked the heels of her boots together, munching on the juicy goodness. "I've never seen him anywhere near that window."

"He _does_ look like that kind of guy who'd stay away from bungee jumping and wooden roller coasters." Rose remarked, tossing the corn puff into her mouth and crunching it with her front teeth.

"I hate it when you guys talk like I'm not here." Gar deadpanned as he lay on his stomach on the floor under the counter with his laptop. A big bag of Lays sat open at his side, a few crumbs on the floor beside him.

"Hey, let's ask the man in person." Jason mused and marched over to the green-haired boy on the floor. He bent at the waist to face Gar with his head tilted. "Are you afraid of heights, Gar?"

"Am not." Gar shot back, hands tapping the keyboard.

"I think you are."

"I'm not scared of heights."

"Then what about the time when we rode that big ferris wheel and you just sat there not saying anything for a full hour?"

"Let's just say I felt upset because Jason dumped _my_ cotton candy into _his_ grape soda."

"My greatest achievement ever."

"Look, anyway, I'm not afraid of heights, alright?" Gar closed his laptop and rolled out from under the counter so that his back was flat against the ground.

"So you don't mind walking over to that window and sticking your head out the opening?" Rachel pointed towards the row of small window near the couch.

"I can do that. Just watch." Gar stated and sat up, getting onto his knees and making his way to the windows like some sort of penguin.

"The way itself you just said that tells me that heights are one of your worst fears." Rose called out as she tossed the empty box of cereal onto the floor. "Just like the answers for the maze on that cereal box is right on the top left corner."

"Shut up." Gar muttered as he unlocked the window and pushed the thing open. Cold air rushed into the living room and hit his face in and instant. He felt his hands grow sweatier, his breathing pick up pace.

He grabbed the edge of the windowsill and slowly began pushing his head out the opening. The winter breeze was colder than ever, and his grip tightened. And once his head and shoulders were through the opening, he just _had_ to look down.

Cars raced on the busy streets underneath him, dot-like people passed left and right, and they all looked so small. And he suddenly felt shaky, nauseous, and just _completely_ like _throwing up_. 

And a hand was pushing his head down, as if he were about to fall, and for a split second, Gar thought he was dying.

With a cry, he yanked his head back into the building, banging the back of his head on the window frame in the process with a loud 'thunk'. He scrambled across the floor, limbs kicking in random directions as he pushed himself away from that damned window.

Jason was rolling on the couch, laughing like a madman as he wiped fake tears. "Oh my god!" He exclaimed, sitting up and giving Gar the most evil smile ever. "You should have seen the look on your face!"

"I could _kill_ you, Jason." Gar exhaled shakily, kicking the window shut with his heel. "I could strangle you right now."

"He proved a point, though." Rachel pointed out with a big smile plastered on her face. "You _are_ scared of heights."

Gar's face turned a little redder. "It's a basic survival mechanism."

"That doesn't change the fact that you're scared." Rose said loudly with her spoon grasped tightly in her hands.

"It's a fear of falling. It's prudent and evolutionary."

"Now you're just quoting the Big Bang Theory."

Gar gave Jason a deadly glare and crawled on all fours back underneath the counter, opening his laptop again, still a bit shaken.

Just then, Donna entered the room with her arms full of fast food paper bags, the elevator dinging as it signaled her arrival. Upon seeing the cereal boxes and open bags of chips and marshmallows on the floor, she sighed, dumping everything onto the glass table. "Really, guys?"

"You can't argue with us. We were starving." Jason retorted.

"And you tried to push me off a _building_."

"Did not."

"Look, just," Donna cut in, shaking her head. "… just _please_ come and get your burgers."


	2. astraphobia: fear of thunderstorms

The storm had rolled in the day before, and Dick Grayson lay in bed, thoughts rushing through his mind like a train on tracks.

A flash of lightning, a roar of thunder.

Dick never really minded storms, but he didn't like them at all. Not that he _hated_ them, though. Just saw them as a disturbance in everything; road trips, picnics, walks in the park, and sleep.

A knock sounded at his door.

"Dick?"

Another knock.

"Dick, are you awake? Can I come in?"

Dick rolled over in bed and sat up, untangling the sheets from his legs. The voice behind the door was too familiar. "Come in, Rachel."

The door creaked open, and Rachel sheepishly peeked into the room, eyes darting back and forth. She wore black sleepwear, along with black, fuzzy slippers that fit her feet just perfectly.

"Dick, I…" She looked away, hesitating, before speaking out loud again. "… can I sleep in your room tonight?"

"Storm?" Dick inquired, raising an eyebrow. As on cue, the sky flashed a blinding white through the curtains and there came the rumbling of thunder. Rachel flinched and shuffled over to the bed, standing in front of Dick as if pleading desperately for permission to stay.

To be honest, Dick wanted some time alone. He could have really used some thinking hours in bed, just to organize his thoughts.

But at the same time, he couldn't chase a kid who was scared of thunderstorms away.

With a quick smile and a nod, Dick scooted aside, throwing the covers aside. "Come on."

With a sigh of relief, Rachel hastily climbed into the bed and grabbed the bedsheets, pulling them up to her chin as she curled up under the warmth. She visibly flinched when the lightning flashed, and then the thunder followed.

"I hate thunderstorms." She almost spat. "They're loud for no reason and they freak me out."

"That's probably why everyone else hates storms."

Just then, the door flew open to reveal a _very_ disheveled Gar standing in the hall. His green shirt was rumpled and his hair was unkempt, sticking out in every direction possible. 

"Dick, I can't stand the—"

The sky flashed a bright white, and Gar let a small cry escape his throat. The deep rumbling of thunder came afterwards, suddenly reminding Dick of a tiger's growl.

"—the thunder and lightning." Gar finished with a visible shadow looming across his face. "My room feels unsafe."

"Bed's taken." Rachel announced from underneath the covers, who had buried herself in the bedsheets after hearing the next thunder.

"Why is she here?" Gar questioned, stepping into the room before Dick could say anything else.

Dick shrugged and leaned against the backboard. "Same reason as you. I guess a fear of thunderstorms is a rather common phobia."

The rain pounded the glass windows behind the curtains, and Gar almost seemed to wince at every small noise the storm was making. "Dick, can I sleep here tonight?" He asked carefully, lowering his voice to a whisper.

"Rachel's already here, so I don't see why not." Dick replied with a chuckle. "I think we've got enough room."

Body tense, Gar hurried over to the bed and stepped over Rachel, climbing in under the covers between the two of them. He lay his head on the pillow as Dick settled on his right, lying down.

A crack of thunder and a flash of light.

Gar flinched and curled himself up into a smaller ball, Rachel immediately snapping her head towards them, expression nothing but anxiety.

"I've got you." Dick said quietly, carefully draping an arm over Gar's thin form. Rachel snuggled in closer, her hand taking Gar's carefully—they both squeezed when another series of thunder and lightning made their appearance.

Dick rubbed Gar's clothed arm as if that would somehow bring more comfort, the tips of his fingers brushing against Rachel's hair.

"Funny how—" A flash of lightning. "—how we both happened to hate thunderstorms." A roar of thunder.

"Hate is different with fear." Dick mentioned, teasing them a bit in order to brighten the mood. "Don't worry, you'll soon get used to it."

"I just think I get freaked out by loud noises." Gar mentioned, sliding into the covers, wrist wrapping around Rachel's forearm.

"Oh, shit." Rachel cursed when she heard the thunder booming outside. "I hate these fucked up storms."

"Like I said; hate isn't fearing. They're two different things."

Both flinched at the same time, and Gar let out a small whimper.

"... Thanks for letting us stay, Dick."

"No problem." Dick replied quietly, continuing to brush his hand against Gar's arms and Rachel's head. "The thunderstorm'll pass tonight, it's gonna be okay."

It took a while, but both teens both fell asleep beside him, Gar's arms somehow ending up wrapped around him, Rachel's hand holding onto the back of Gar's shirt like he would disappear if she let go.

And Dick thought, as the rain fell from the heavens, that he was glad he let these two in at three in the morning.


	3. aviophobia: fear of flying

"I still can't believe you _actually_ persuaded Dick to take us on a vacation to Hawaii!" Gar exclaimed as they headed towards their gate after hearing the last call for their plane. 

Kory laughed, tugging her small suitcase along with her. "Took a while, but got through his skull eventually. I told him you guys needed a break and some fun."

"Yeah we do!" Jason said with a huge grin on his face as he caught up the rest of the group. "This is awesome."

"Definitely better than sword fighting." Rachel mentioned with a smile, arm around Gar's neck as they walked. "You're the best, Kory. I'm _so_ gonna enjoy the plane ride."

"Are you kidding me? Plane rides suck." Jason retorted, the smile disappearing off his face to be replaced by a frown. "You have to sit in a cramped chair for hours, watch old Disney movies like _Lady and the_ fucking _Tramp._ And the toilets flush super loudly enough to make your ears bleed. Who even _needs_ a toilet like that?"

"But it's the one place where you can sit and chillax without anyone to bother you, you can watch stuff like _Crazy Rich Asians_ and _Mission Impossible_." Gar said, duffel bag swinging back and forth by the strap on his shoulder. "And I think airplane food tastes much better than Dick's cauliflower bread."

"Especially those baby carrots."

"Damn, I love those baby carrots."

"Can you all just… shut up already?" Rose snapped, glaring into the black screen of her phone as if she was trying to burn holes into it. 

Jason leaned in, glanced at the empty screen. "Yeah, I get it." He said, squinting a little. "The egg sandwich _did_ taste sorta like shit."

"No, it's not that." Rose shook her head, shoving her phone back into the pocket of her jacket. "The sandwich was… fine!"

"Doesn't sound like it was fine." Gar remarked.

"No, I… look. it's not the sandwich, alright? You guys are talking too much. It's getting on my nerves."

"Rose Wilson has nerves?" Kory inquired as she fumbled with five passports and tickets. "Didn't think that was possible."

"No, just listen." Rose snapped, eyes now on the ground. "I'm just not looking forward to the plane ride, okay?"

"Why not?" Rachel questioned, looking towards Rose, her boots skidding across the floors. "It's a perfectly safe plane."

"I just don't like flying in general." Rose said quietly, lowering her voice nothing but a whisper. "In a plane, I mean."

"So you're scared." Jason fixed, raising his eyebrows and looking at her with wide eyes.

Rose let a rather loud groan escape her throat. "I'm not _scared_ of flying."

"Fear of flying is a common phobia." Kory said softly, who had stopped near the row of chairs in front of the gate to stick each ticket into passports. "Don't hide it." 

Rose said nothing, and tried to drown out her thoughts by focusing on Gar and Rachel's conversation on which side of his forehead did Harry Potter have his scar.

…

They were on the plane, and the four teens had figured out, much to their dismay that Kory had bought them third-class economy seats while taking a business seat for herself. Gar had tried to argue back by stating the cliché 'it isn't fair' contention, but as soon as Kory pointed out that _she_ had been the one to take them all to Hawaii in the first place, he didn't dare retort.

There were two seats at the front and second row, making four in total. Gar said that he wanted a spot at the front because he had been planning on sleeping anyway. Rachel wanted to sit beside him, and that automatically left Jason and Rose to sit together.

"Guess you and I are partners." Jason grunted as he pushed his backpack into the overhead storage area. "Gimme your bag."

Rose shoved her knapsack into Jason's arms and sat down at the seat next to the window, crossing her arms defiantly.

After stuffing Rose's bag into the pile, he sat down beside her and leaned back against the headrest. "So, uh, on a scale of one to ten, how fucked up do you feel?"

"A ten. I'm totally freaking out." Rose replied as she studied the planes outside the window. Besides the words escaping her mouth, she was like a totally calm human being.

"You _look_ okay, if that makes you feel less shitty in any way."

"What if we crash?" Rose blurted out, her head snapping forward to face the front seat. "What if something goes wrong and we all fall and die?"

"You know, there is a far lower of chance of accidents during flight than by car." Jason said.

"I dunno. Traveling on ground just seems much safer."

"Hey." He said with a soft sigh, glancing towards her hand which seemed to be gripping the armrest tightly. "It's gonna be okay. We're not gonna crash. I promise."

"And how the hell do you know that we won't?"

"Trust me; I just do." He replied, slipping his wireless headphones around his neck and over his shoulders. "Just sit tight for about nine hours."

"Nine fucking hours?" She spat, glaring at him. "How do you expect me to just 'sit tight' for _nine hours_?"

"Let's just play a game of cards, yeah? Try to keep things off your mind."

"… Whatever." She finally replied, accepting the deck of cards Jason was offering her.

Nine hours still felt like hell.


	4. cleithrophobia: fear of being trapped

Gar had never liked being in cages.

Or any small spaces that made him feel like a dangerous, deadly animal that needed to be confined.

In this case, he probably _was_ one. Not everyone in the world could shapeshift into a green tiger, after all.

"Why do you hate Chief so much?"

"I don't hate him. He saved my life."

"Doesn't really seem like you love him, either."

"… I'm just scared of him."

Dick had wanted to talk.

He wasn't really familiar with this man yet; it had only been three hours since he had first met him, and had somehow managed to hitch a ride on their minivan to drive to a small, old motel on the highway.

"Strict?"

"Strict. But more like a very possessive uncle."

"What would he do to you?"

"Huh?"

"What would the Chief do to you back there?"

…

_"Into the cage, Garfield."_

_Chief's order pinned itself into his skull like a nail hit by a mullet._

_"No, no, I don't wanna go, please don't make me."_

_Cliff was slowly dragging him towards the chains and the bars and the cold, metal floor of the rusty old cage that sat in the middle of the room. Once he entered, they'd lock the door, trap him there, and he'd have no way out whatsoever. And then he'd start to panic, and the tiger would want to rip through him and bite the bars with its teeth._

_And it would hurt._

_The second he was locked up, there was no escape, and the agony would tear through him, snapping bones and ripping muscles apart, his insides churning and rearranging themselves to form the biology of a different animal._

_Being locked in meant agony like no other. And he hated himself for thinking that way._

…

"Not much. Just some scoldings from time to time."

"Just scoldings?"

"I was a lot of trouble back at the manor."

…

_"Please stop, please stop."_

_Wretching sobs tore out of his throat and echoed inside of the testing chamber. The cage bars felt so tight around them, and he wanted to escape so bad, go to Larry or Cliff and force them to play his video games, wrap Rita into a warm embrace and pretend she was his mom._

_"It has merely been half an hour, Garfield. Don't you have any willpower?"_

_"I know, but it hurts so bad and I don't think I can…"_

_"You are an incredibly stubborn, selfish boy."_

_And then the pain washed over him like a wave once again, and this time, he crashed back onto the cold floor and let a guttural roar escape his chest, his throat, his mind._

_The tiger didn't like locked cages and neither did he._

…

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You sure?"

A smile.

"… I'm fine."

After all, he was nothing more than a beast that deserved to be locked up in a cage. What was he besides that?


	5. gephyrophobia: fear of crossing bridges

"We're going on a roadtrip!"

Dick sighed heavily, slightly pounding his hand onto the steering wheel. "For the last time, kids; this _isn't_ a roadtrip. We're just… going to the mall to get some supplies."

"And that means we're getting more snacks!"

"Whee." Rose deadpanned, staring into the screen of her phone while scrolling downwards continuously.

"Everyone, name your favorite snack!"

"Flaming hot Cheetos."

"Um, Lays! Original, not the vinegar ones."

"Definitely Cheez its."

"Everybody, sit back down. You're gonna get us into an accident." Dick said rather loudly, eyes still on the road. Jason's eyes met Dick's with the small mirror upfront, and the younger one gave Dick the biggest smile.

"So, Dick, can we get those Lays? I'm running short on the original-flavored ones and all I have left are the ones that taste like onions." Gar asked with a wide smile as he clung onto the front seat.

"And some bags of Cheez its." Rose called out.

"And we can't forget the Cheetos."

"Fine." Dick snapped, shaking his head and slapping his hands onto the wheel. "I'll buy you Cheetos. Can we all just _shut up_ now? I can't focus on driving."

As if to prove his point, the van swerved a little.

"See?"

"… You did that on purpose, Dick."

"To scare us, obviously."

Without a word, Dick moved right so that the minivan now drove on the last lane near the edge, other cars racing by to their left.

"So, Dick." Jason called out, peeking his head out from the backseats to the second row. "Where exactly is this mall?"

"About five minutes away from where we are. It's just across the bridge."

"Sweet! That means we're close." Gar said with the corners of his lips tugging upwards. "Lays, here I come!"

"Dick, did you say bridge?" Jason inquired, speaking rather quickly like a film sped up twice its original speed. "Like, an actual bridge?"

"What else could bridge mean?" Rachel replied for him, shoving the pizza crust into her mouth, not really seming to mind as Gar played with her hair from behind.

"Isn't there, like, another route we can take so that we, um, _don't_ have to cross the bridge?" Jason asked, narrowing his eyebrows. "Ya know, like a different track on _Tron_."

Gar laughed at the old classic video game reference.

"There is one," Dick mentioned, glancing towards the navigation system on the small screen. "… but if we go that way, it'll take us approximately twenty minutes to get to our destination. Five minutes are shorter."

"Geez, now you _actually_ sound like that chick from the navigation thingies." Jason said with a eyeroll, but his body looked too tense for anyone to say that he was fine. "I think it's better if we take the non-bridge way."

"Why, you scared of crossing bridges?" Rose asked, not really looking up from her phone, her fingers now flying across the tiny keyboard as she typed. 

"Fuck you, Rose."

" _Mind your language_ , Jason." Dick snapped, risking a glance backwards. "Seriously, you kids need some brain treatment."

"Hey!" Gar retorted. "My brain is perfectly fine."

"I'm not afraid of anything." Jason said aloud, shaking his head as he slumped against the seats, eyes darting back and forth towards each window.

"Exactly something a coward would say." Rose deadpanned, finally taking her eyes off her phone screen.

"Look, I'm Robin, alright? I don't get scared."

"Oh, really? Tell me about the time when you were hiding inside a laundry basket from that baby spider in Target."

Jason's face turned red. "That wasn't a baby spider. It was so big that it could eat your fucking hand off."

"But seriously? A laundry basket?"

Jason said nothing afterwards.

They drove onto the bridge, up on the far right lane, so that if you just peered out the window, you could see that high drop from there to the lake below. Jason's hands gripped the seatbelt, white-knuckled. He already felt nauseous, imagined Dick making a wrong, accidental turn and the minivan plunging into the water below after veering off the side. Death of drowning after faling of a bridge _terrified_ him. There was no shoulder to pull onto, no shallow ditch to catch you.

"Why are you afraid of crossing bridges?" Gar inquired quietly, leaning in next to Jason from one seat away. "It's a sturdily-made form of architecture."

"Not always." Jason snapped, face paler than normal. "Bridges can collapse sometimes. Don't you know the incident from 2007?"

"Right. Um… any other reasons why?"

"Bridges are creepy. The Golden Gate Bridge has the top record for being the top suicide spot in the world."

"Ugh, that _is_ creepy."

"Boys, stop talking about suicide." Dick called out from the front. "It's not a healthy topic."

"And you could fall." Jason stated, looking towards Gar as his hands grabbed onto the seatbelt for dear _fucking_ life. "If the driver accidentally turns the wheel and we fall off the side, we'll drown and die. Here. In this goddamn minivan." He shuddered. 'I don't want to die in a fucking minivan."

"Hey, dude, relax." Gar said, giving him a simple pat on the knee and a reassuring smile. "We're almost at the end now."

And Gar stayed true to his words, because soon, the van was back on the highway, the bridge growing farther and farther away from them. Jason felt the blood return to his hands and cheeks, and his body just stopped shaking.

"Oh god, I hate bridges."

"How about a nice bag of flaming hot Cheetos to cheer you up?" Dick said, exaggerating a sigh.

"How about a medal for being such a brave little boy?" Rachel snickered. "You know, the ones that you clip on your clothes."

"With a safety pin." Rose added.

"I'd like both, thank you." Jason snapped. "I'm never crossing a bridge ever again. No fucking way."

"Let's just… talk about this after we're done shopping for supplies." Dick muttered.

"And the snacks."

"Of course. And the snacks."


End file.
